Was I a side chick?

 Remember when I said I was crazy?? Don’t judge me on this one. Seriously. I met a guy. He was sweet, tall dark and handsome. Needless to say there were plenty of females on his case, but he always seemed to have it all under control. I fell in love. I’m a lover….I catch feelings as though my life depends on it. I might need a therapist. Anyway, I caught feelings. I told this guy how I felt and he asked me what I wanted. I just thought God had delivered this one just for me. How many guys ask us what we want these days. Most guys try and avoid this conversation and usually make you feel bad for asking. I told him I wanted a relationship and he asked if I was sure. Bruh! Had I ever been more sure?? 

So we became boyfriend and girlfriend. First month, AMAZING! We are together all the time. We talk, we joke, we laugh. The “I love you” came and it was reciprocated. I was in heaven. Second month, still the same but a few issues; females on the phone after hours! I tried to understand that the business he was in  was 24hrs but I also understood females. I always said, “Tell them to call you within office hours”. One day he answered the phone and called this girl “Babe”! I went ballistic, he explained he was just trying to keep relations cool for the sake of business. He apologised profusely and I believed him. Don’t judge me, I did say I was in love.

After 3 months, I had had enough! I give every guy I get into a relationship with time to get rid of his hoes. We were talking and you had hoes, just cause we are in a relationship doesn’t mean you have to copy and paste a “I’m in a relationship now so we can’t talk anymore” text. You drop your hoes gently. I’ve come to accept that…..but these hoes were not dropping. I raised my concerns and said I wanted to leave. I was unhappy. Why am I sharing my man’s time with other girls. I feed off my man’s attention and if I ain’t getting 100%, I’ll notice.
Me saying this didn’t go down too well. We fought. I said things. He said things. I did things. He did things. We didn’t talk for a couple days and he said he wanted to fix things. I was like cool. In this time his attitude changed….errrr obviously I noticed. So the crazy Cookie kicked in. I’m trying to be honest, so don’t judge me. Here goes.

He said he was coming to see me after a night out. He was a no show! He ended up in an area we both had never been before. Google maps told me. Yeah I checked! He then tried to tell me he’d got so drunk he went to his Aunt’s. But hold on, every other time you’re drunk, you call me!!! I didn’t buy it, but I don’t talk without knowing the full story. I had to do more digging.

It happened again, this time he claimed the police arrested him cause they thought he was up to something he wasn’t. I’ve dated drug dealers, fraudsters and this one was just a liar! I didn’t buy it. I still needed more evidence.
One night out, he started an argument with me unnecessarily. I was about to say f*** this and walk out, when I realised how dodgy that was. So, I began another investigation. Yes, investigation. I put myself in his shoes. I thought,

If I was him and I was cheating what would I do?

I followed his footsteps. He doesn’t know this part, so he’s gonna read this and realise I’m much more crazy that he thought. I went to his favourite shop that we went to after a night out, he wasn’t there. Next stop was his house, and VOILA!!! There he was, sitting in this car with another woman!!!

Part of me was happy. I don’t like o be crazy for no reason. When I act crazy, there’s always a reason. She was wondering who I was. I went and messed up the whole situation, but here’s the kicker. He defended himself to HER, not to me. He said,

Babe, this is my ex I was talking about

This is when I knew I was Billy Mitchell! No seriously. I was fuming. I had said to this guy I wanted to leave but he had told me he loved me countless times and he wanted to fix it. Obviously this situation didn’t end well but if you want details, it’ll have to be a different post.

He came to apologise later that day but I was sure I would never take him back. The moment he explained himself to her, he made a choice that set my decision for good. He didn’t respect me and I didn’t want that.

Funny thing is, they had been together for 2 weeks. She was angry and she said she wasn’t gonna go back. I said the same. The difference is I stuck by it and they were together for a while after that.

I felt a bit like a side chick after this. Was I the “side chick”?
Let me know what you think!

Comment below

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Email: justcookiedough@gmail.com

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  1. It seems as though this guy is an artist of some sort. Firstly you need to realise that with artists you cannot get rid of the females. Being a male artist that’s his biggest target audience. You should have allowed him space and trusted him to be loyal to you even though his time is devided between you and them it comes with the price tag. You should be lucky because he chose to be with you. He took that step. He commuted to u which this day and age is not easy. You became slightly possessive the biggest nono if your going to be in a relationship with an artist. He lost the ability go be real with you because you suspected him and judged him and tried to tell him what to do. A big nono!! this is what pushed him away from you and he set himself to replace YOU the main. You started as the main and got replaced by a more understanding woman FOR NOW. She’s less stress. He can relax with. N be himself with. She too could make your mistake as dating an artist is not the same as a normal man. If she understands this formula it could be forever. With artists u got go be their best friend first that’s where the respects comes from. Loved your post very real abd honest.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. The moment he explained himself to the other girl was when he made his choice. You were never a side chic, you were just woman who fell in love with a boy cause that’s what he is a boy because a man would never play with your emotions like that.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I guess he is about that baby boy life, only thing is he wanted a comforter and that was you. There are is so many Guys like him . I have been through the same thing girl. But not to the point i investigated. I just left it. I know being in love omg we are cloud nine and also it’s hard to believe that his cheating etc. But that’s the thing guys like him will show that loveable side etc but u gotta have your doubts.

    Girl you wasn’t no side chick.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. He sounds Nigerian. And could be a promoter. You knew from the start there were plenty of females on him case. That was the first warning sign. Think to yourself did he address me as his missus to his friends openly? Did he introduce me to his family? Did he respect my request for him not to accept calls at silly hours in the morning? A man will do anything to keep the girl he loves. Another warning sign is when a man asks you what you want…. hell if he is into you he will make his feelings clear to you without asking you what you want. “What do you want” means he is giving you the option to either have a casual relationship or to walk away. Dont confuse it to mean he cares about what you want. You are not at fault. Yes he side chick’d you but not to your knowledge. He is a bit of a coward for not being open about his other relationship but thats men for you. Selfish as hell. Next time though I would say let a man chase you. Know your worth….dont just give yourself to a guy because you like him. Let him work for your attention and love. If he walks away too quick then he was never serious. From experience guys who are really serious about you will keep fighting for your attention. If you just hand it to them they will take advantage and think ‘well… if she is putting it on the plate’ x

    Liked by 1 person

  5. You got side dished for real, he must have been a hell of a hunk for you to be be dashing out the “L” bomb so soon?! Was you looking for love so desperately or was it the D. I mean I ain’t judging but if you’re serving your cookies (no pun intended) on a hot plate men usually just grab until you take the plate away? xo

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Maybe you did appear desperate to him to an extent that you were considered as a passenger who was just eager to be taken from point A to point B; but I can’t blame you because love sometimes makes us do things that doesn’t define us. You were in love my dear; he was lucky to have you…….and YES: he did consider you as a side chick, but that was his loss; not yours.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. One thing about most men is we do what the woman allows us to do. If you allow someone to get rid of their (hoes) they will never do so. If it’s not something they have done from the beginning before the I love yous, before the intamacy, it will never happen. You weren’t a side chick, you were on the team. He had no main all of you were just options.

    In those cases you have to let it be known from the beginning what your expectations are. Many fall short in relationships due to this, miscommunication.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. If you met him with multiple hoes, you will always have him and the multiple hoes. You said you always give the man time to rid himself of the others. If he truly was just about you he would have dropped them from the beginning. You allowed this action by not setting the standard from the beginning. To answer your question, you were never a side, you were always an option. He never had a main, regardless the time spent, the I love yous etc…

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Well… You sound very desperate and that’s where you went wrong. As a woman respect yourself and you will be respected. You made yourself this crazy, side chick that you could have avoided but you say you was in love. No sounds more like lust and desperate. I say if you can fall in love and let it drive you crazy and not have self control then you need some time out from this so called love / lust business and learn to be more self controlling, some self respect and NOT DESPERATE. That’s a big put off. You’ll never be main chick with these qualities missy

    Liked by 1 person

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